I try to steer clear of negative “rant” style posts on this blog.  Just doesn’t fit with my Zen philosophy on life.  But, the fact is, T-Muscle makes it ever so hard not to get into the act and start bashing away at their … advice.

Thankfully, I don’t have to, since Alan Aragon is plenty happy to take on the role.  In this one he’s hammering an interview by Nate Green of Dr. Lonnie Lowery.  All I have to say is,”Anaconda …”

In my daily stroll through the internetz, I stumbled upon this article by fitness journalist/dating expert Nate Green who interviews fellow staff writer Dr. Lonnie Lowery. Before I get into this, let me first thank the good fellas at Tmuscle for providing a relentless source
of entertainment. Not to mention, they always come through with great
pics & vids of super-enhanced fleshiness. Nate’s article embodies
so much of the Tmuscle ideals in a single swoop, that it deserves a
little shine here on my Super Secret Blog™.

By the way, if you haven’t already read it, and want to see Alan get medieval on the ass of T-nation, you need to read his article on the use of chocolate milk over Biotest’s Surge.  I personally dug it because I was using chocolate milk regardless.  It tasks good, and surge tastes like … well … ass.

Ok, fine, they’re crazy strong!  Check out this vid of them at the 2009 Arnold:

Alwyn Cosgrove discusses the difference between mobility and stability, and how to spot them.  Notably, he looks at two pics of an overhead squat, one where the dude has decent form, and another where the dude doesn’t.  It LOOKS like a mobility problem, but when they get into the same position while lying on the ground, they can both mimic the overhead squat form. 

So the difference in squat form and depth was not a mobility issue – it was a stability
issue. Essentially the body is shutting down the range of motion – not
because of tightness or a restriction – but because it perceives a
threat due to the lack of stability.

…

Conclusion – a range of motion deficit or asymmetry may not be related
to tissue length or tension at all. It could be related to core
stability.

Bob Takano has a short post wondering why so many beginners get into the habit of rolling the bar into themselves before they lift without allowing it to come to a dead stop first.

The Blazers got blown out again, which makes Thursday nights game their last chance to stay in the playoffs.

As usual, Blazers Edge has a funny way of looking at.  This time they’re comparing the Blazers offense to the beautiful Jennifer Connelly (hands down one of the most attractive women in Hollywood).  But, while the Blazers may have started out with promise, they weren’t able to follow Connelly’s lead and get hotter as time went on.

For the first six minutes of this game the Blazers’ offense was like
Jennifer Connelly circa 1986.  Remember the first time you saw her in
Labyrinth?  Ooh-la-la!  So young…so fresh and full of promise…so
totally hot.

…

Sadly while Ms. Connelly would blossom into full, drool-inducing flower
in such movies as Dark City and Mulholland Falls the Blazers’ offense
proved less enduring.  Despite the hefty lead anyone watching had to be
nervous seeing the Blazers rely on Andre Miller jumpers backed mostly
by LaMarcus Aldridge jumpers.  Sure enough, as the 6:00 mark of the
first period passed the Jennifer Connelly offense blew the Blazers and
their fans a good-bye kiss, promptly replaced by Chumlee in a bikini.
Content to drift on the perimeter Portland missed 7 of their last 9
shots, adding 3 turnovers to the mix.

My friend Mike (2010 National Champion in his age/weight class in Olympic Weightlifting -  he’s the buff dude in the above video) sent me this great list of Viking laws for success to share with you. 

They remind me a bit of what you might find in the Hagakura, the Japanese book of the Samurai.  Succinct and clear, and surprisingly relevant to your real life and to your fitness life.

OK, here we go:

VIKING LAWS

BE BRAVE AND AGGRESSIVE

BE DIRECT

GRAB ALL OPPORTUNITIES

USE VARYING METHODS OF ATTACK

BE VERSATILE AND AGILE

ATTACK ONE TARGET AT A TIME

DON’T PLAN EVERYTHING IN DETAIL

USE TOP QUALITY WEAPONS

BE PREPARED

KEEP WEAPONS IN GOOD CONDITION

KEEP IN SHAPE

FIND GOOD BATTLE COMRADES

AGREE ON IMPORTANT POINTS

CHOOSE ONE CHIEF

BE A GOOD MERCHANT

FIND OUT WHAT THE MARKET NEEDS

DON’T PROMISE WHAT YOU CANNOT DELIEVER

DON’T DEMAND OVERPAYMENT

AGRRANGE THINGS SO THAT YOU CAN RETURN

KEEP THE CAMP IN ORDER

KEEP THINGS TIDY AND ORGANIZED

ARRANGE ENJOYABLE ACTIVITIES WHICH STRENGTHEN THE GROUP

MAKE SURE EVERYBODY DOES USEFUL WORK

CONSULT ALL MEMBERS OF THE GROUP FOR ADVICE

Oscar Wilde, from The Importance of Being Ernest

Everything popular is wrong

That may not sound very Zen, but it is.  It comes down to being aware of the natural human instinct to jump on bandwagons.  The more aware you are of any natural tendency the more rationally you can react to them.  And jumpin’ on bandwagons is rarely a good idea.

In fitness and strength training, it is VERY true that nearly everything that is popular is wrong … dead wrong.  For instance, if you’re shocked by any of the following statements, then you have been following bad (but popular) advice.

1. There is no such thing as “toning” a muscle.
2. Jogging will not make you thin.
3. You should lift weights if you want to lose fat.
4. Carbs are not the devil.
5. Yoga is not enough.

Let’s go through these really fast just to help dispel any lingering disbelief you might have.

One:  There is no such thing as “toning” a muscle.

OK, sometimes I’m guilty of using the word “toning” my advertising to entice women to join my workout programs.  But, the fact is, the word is meaningless.  Muscles either get bigger or they get smaller.  They can also get stronger or weaker, but we’ll just talk about the visual stuff since that’s what “toning” refers to.

When someone says they don’t want to make their muscles bigger, they just want to tone them, they are talking nonsense.  What they MEAN (without knowing it) is that they want to keep their muscles the same size and lose the fat that is covering them up.  This way their arms will look long and lean, for instance.

Sadly what people think they mean is that they want to do specific styles of training that will cause the muscle to be lean rather than bulky.  This is silly.  Leanness is not the opposite of bulkiness.  Leanness is a function of how much fat you have.  If you have little fat, you’re lean.  If you have more fat, then you look less lean.  Bulkiness (in terms of big muscles – not just fatty tissue) is a function of how large your muscles are.  You can be both lean and bulky (think of Bodybuilders), or you can be lean and skinny (supermodels).

If what you want is to be lean and small, then say that.  Don’t walk up to a trainer and tell them you want to be toned not big and muscle-bound.  That’s a great way to make a good trainer cringe.

Two:  Jogging will not make you thin.

This fact trips people out.  The bottom line is not that jogging isn’t good exercise.  It’s that your body is far too good at adapting to it.

In order to make consistent progress, you have to do exercises that are hard for your body to do.  At first, jogging is hard.  But, after a fairly short period of time, your body adapts and becomes very efficient at doing the same workouts.  If you used to burn 800 calories on a 5 mile jog, after a few months you might only need to burn 400 for the same 5 mile jog – and you’ll feel like it’s easier to do!  (those are made up numbers, btw.)

One way to solve the problem is to up the number of miles.  But, once you get into the 8 to 10 range, we’re getting ridiculous.

Another way to up the workout is to stop jogging, and start running.  If you go faster, you will work harder and you’ll get a better training effect.  But, at some point you’ll start sprinting.  And no human being can sprint for 5 miles!

Instead, once you’ve gotten too used to slow cardio (again, it’s great at first for people who like it) then focus instead on weight training and interval training.  You’ll lose more fat faster, and your workouts will be shorter.  Win win!

Three:  Lift weights if you want to lose fat.

If you aren’t lifting weights, but your goal is fatloss, then you are missing out – big time!  Weight training not only helps you build muscle which in turn will help you lose fat.  But, weight training done in a superset style is very hard cardio much like sprinting.  You’ll burn more calories and you’ll get a more powerful EPOC effect (Excess Post-exercise Oxygen Consumption) than cardio alone.  The EPOC effect basically raises your resting metabolism much higher than normal for up to 24 to 36 hours after exercise resulting in more fatloss.

And women, for heavens sake, no matter how hard you work at it, you will NEVER look like a man.  Read here to find out why.

Four: Carbs are not the devil. (Foosball is)

Carbs get a bad rap.   But, the fact is, you need them.  You need up to 130 grams a day just to keep your brain functioning correctly.  You need carbs before and during exercise to keep your workouts going strong, and you need them post-exercise to replenish glycogen stores.

If you drop carbs out completely, you are doing yourself a disservice.

Five:  Yoga is not enough

Yoga is VERY popular now.  For the most part, yoga is a good thing.  It’s great at getting totally sedentary people to get in some bodyweight strength work by holding themselves in tough positions.  It also does a great job of lengthening the muscles, which can aid in the prevention of injuries.

But, it doesn’t do much else.  Much like jogging, you adapt too fast to the cardio and strength components of yoga.  You need a dedicated cardio and a dedicated strength component in your fitness program.  Stretching is good, but flexibility is only one small component of overall fitness.

The points above are designed to make the simple point that you can’t just go along with what the conventional wisdom is when it comes to fitness and strength training.  You have to think a little harder, think outside the box, and search for solid information backed by science, not hearsay and inertia.

Rob Mahoney gets all cinematic on us.  He calls the Blazers the first Alien movie by Ridley Scott, and the Suns the second, Aliens, by James Cameron.

If I may, the Blazers are Ridley Scott’s Alien. The film is
predicated on two things: the build-up of suspense through an extension
of the ordinary and the grand reveal of the titular creature. A
surprising amount of the film’s running time is designated to
portraying the characters going through seemingly ordinary sequences of
action, which naturally makes the audience uneasy because they’re (1)
aware that they’re watching a movie in which something interesting is
supposed to be happening and (2) cognizant of the fact that the damn
movie is called Alien, yet there have yet to be any aliens.
The injury-plagued Blazers are very much the same, in that even the
team’s most talented players are seemingly ordinary. Andre Miller is
hardly perceived as an elite point guard, despite the fact that he’s
been incredibly effective in Brandon Roy’s stead. LaMarcus Aldridge is
considered a solid four, but lacking in some fundamental element of
superstardom and thus inferior. Marcus Camby is a nice shot-blocker,
but he’s been deemed well into his decline and though he’s a
difference-maker, he’s hardly considered a defensive anchor. Nicolas
Batum, Martell Webster, Jerryd Bayless, Rudy Fernandez — all fine role
players, but nothing more.

This is all, of course, before a little alien with Nate McMillan’s face comes bursting through your chest at the dinner table and ruins a perfectly good time.

He then ends with this prediction:

I’m not saying that Portland won’t win another game. They very well
could. But the way this team operates is just too predictable and
preventable. The Suns shift Grant Hill on to Andre Miller, and ‘Dre is
held to just 12 points on 4-of-11 shooting and three assists, compared
to 31 points on 10-of-17 shooting with eight assists in Game 1. Phoenix
threw double teams at LaMarcus Aldridge to force the ball out of his
hands, and he finished with 11 points on 3-of-8 shooting after dropping
22 in Game 1. I’m sure Nate McMillan will do a great job of making some
adjustments for Game 3, and change up where Miller and Aldridge are
getting the ball, where and when the offense should attack, etc.
Unfortunately none of that will change the fact that the power and
impact of their initial reveal is gone. The Suns may still be affected
when the Blazer offense figures out new ways to showcase the same
things, but they’ll be waiting for it. They’ll be anticipating it.
They’ll stay frosty, clinch their fists, and sense it coming. The magic
may still be there, but the mystery is gone.

I can understand the logic, if the metaphor holds.  Let’s hope Nate McMillan can morph the team to into the Predator. 

[Hat tip: Blazers Edge]

Blazers Edge has this to say on the hammering we got last night:

This game wasn’t about game flow.  The only thing worth noting in that
vein was the Blazers running fearfully down the hallway yelling
“Ziggybumwaaaahhh!” and the Suns hitting them like a tidal wave.  The
game started out at the Suns’ pace and stayed that way.  Phoenix looked
good at that pace, due in so small measure to Portland getting back
down the court at roughly the same pace as those guys in the Dockers
“We Wear No Pants” commercials.  The Suns not only sprinted down the
floor, they took instant advantage of any Portland gap or mismatch. 
They scored repeatedly before Portland looked ready to defend.  Even
when the Blazers got back and forced the Suns to play their halfcourt
defense was substandard.  Phoenix didn’t have to rely on threes to get
their lead because Steve Nash got any pass he wanted, mostly inside. 
When the Suns did miss they got offensive rebounds.

The fact is, not everyone succeeds at sticking to a new fitness plan.  In fact, most don’t.  They might stick to it for a while, and even see some nice results.  But, at some point, the ball drops.

I think about this a lot, of course, since when a client of mine lets their fitness fall through the floor they stop coming in to see me!  I have a solid retention rate that I’m quite proud of, but no matter what I do, no matter how encouraging I try to be, I can’t keep them all.  That’s life.  You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves.

Top 7 Reasons People Fail at Fitness

• Unwillingness – I like to say often that Life is about Trade Offs.  You never get to have something without paying a price.  Sometimes the price low, in which case the choice is easy.  But, other times the price is high.   When it comes to fitness, many people see a steep price tag.  You have to watch your diet, consistently come into the gym, and work HARD when you’re in the gym.   That’s the price.  And if you aren’t willing to pay it, you will never succeed. 
• Self Esteem Issues – There are so many ways a coach can hear the words, “I can’t”.  Sometimes it’s simply a whiny sounding sigh.  Other times, it’s explicit, “I can’t do that, I mean it, there is no way that is going to happen.  Not if my LIFE depended on it.”  Truth is, when a client tells me they can’t, they usually can.  But they honestly don’t know it.  I know it, I’ve been doing this long enough to have a pretty good idea about what a person can and can’t take.  But, they don’t.  They have NO experience pushing themselves beyond their comfort zones.  As such, they are convinced they are less than they are.  This goes to more than just lifting in the gym, or doing their interval training.  It is a permeating force of “I can’t” that rules their life.  They’ll be doing something well, get right up near the end … and quit.  You ARE able to do this.  ANYONE can do this.  But, until you truly believe it:  Fake it till you make it.
• Blame-Game – This one is related to the lack of self-esteem.  If you find yourself failing, and your first response is to blame someone else, or some external object or situation, then you’re playing the blame-game.  OK, I know there are always those times in life when things honestly aren’t your fault (like getting hit by a car).  But, most of the time, at least part of the blame is squarely on you.  Take that to heart, don’t let it get you down, learn from it, and do something different the next time.  We all fail in the short term.  But, the people who succeed in the long term OWN their failures. 
• Sheepin’ It Up – This may seem ironic, given the nature of this article, but beware of advice-givers.  Obviously, you need to take advice.  But, make sure it’s good advice given by people who are in a good position to give advice.  For instance, if you are having relationship problems and you need advice, don’t ask your friend who has never been in a relationship that lasted longer than 6 months!  They don’t know what they are talking about.  (I always find it amazing when people hire out-of-shape trainers who clearly don’t practice what they preach.)  You don’t have to spend your life as a sheep.  You have a good brain – use it.  Good advice is education, bad advice is poison.
• Execute – All the good advice in the world is worthless if you don’t put it into action.  A famous coach, Dan John, once said, “Plan the work, work the plan.”  A coach can plan the work, but eventually only you can work the plan.  How many projects around your house do you “plan to get to?”  How often have you told yourself that you were going to start going to the gym.  “This year, man, this is it. This is the year I’m gonna go to the gym and eat right and take back my life!”  Well … that’s the plan, now do it!
• Closed mind – Sometimes you’ll get great advice, but you’re too closed-minded to take it (or even recognize it as good advice).  When I tell people that lifting weights will help them lose fat, I often get quizzical looks.  It goes against the grain (cardio is for fat loss, weight lifting is for muscle building … right?).  When I say that long and slow cardio won’t help them lose fat, I get rolled eyes.  The fact that they’ve been doing long slow cardio with no results for years doesn’t (oddly) occur to them as strange. 
• Over-competitive – This comes in two kinds: competition with others; and competition with yourself.  Both can be great motivators.  But, they can also be major motivation killers!  If you are constantly worried about what others are doing (and doing better than you) then you’ll end up paralyzed by irrational fears like, “I’m not as good as them, so I’ll NEVER be as good as them.”  The other is over-competition with your own self.   Setting unrealistic goals for yourself is a guaranteed way to set yourself up for failure.  Like, “I’m gonna lose 20 pounds in 10 days!” … come on.  A little competition is good, too much is childish.

Take a good hard look at the above 7 problems and ask yourself if you’re suffering from any of them.  I’m sure you are.  We ALL are.  But, the good news is that admitting a behavior is a problem is the first step toward changing that behavior.

If you’re ready to take yourself to the next level, make sure to contact me to get started on a new strength and fitness program today!